I was out having a drink with a friend a couple of Mondays ago. I don’t do this very often; I’m not much of a drinker or a spend-money-at-the-bar type. But it was Monday night and we’re self-employed and decided we could both use a good Friday. That’s the beauty of being your own boss- you can set your schedule, and if you’ve had a weekend where you ended up working a lot you can decide to take the occasional weeknight off.
In theory.
In practice, I am a workaholic. I have a hard time convincing myself to take time off, even when it’s a totally rational thing to do. I also struggle with recognizing when I’ve done something noteworthy or have hit a milestone in a goal I’ve set. Up until now, I can safely say that I have not been great at “celebrating my wins.”
What does that mean to “ celebrate your wins?” I’ll explore that further. But first, what’s the opposite? What does it mean to *not* celebrate your wins?
Well, that was me at that bar get-together on Monday. Earlier that day I had wrapped up a huge project. For the second year in a row, I participated in Kickstarter’s Annual “Make 100” challenge The parameters of the project were simple; pick an item you want to make 100 of in the month of January, offer exactly 100 “rewards” for the project, and then make the thing! This year I chose to make a *huge* new batch of mushroom-themed paintings. I made 95 of them actually. (The remaining 5 I’ll be finishing up in the month of February.)
The project funding deadline was around noon that day, and I spent the final hours of the project glued to my computer hitting refresh compulsively to see if any last-minute pledges came through. When the project finally closed and I received the “you did it!” email, I went into the living room and hugged my boyfriend. I congratulated him on finishing his own January Kickstarter campaign and then had some lunch.
But then I just kept working. I finished the rest of my day, with no particular plans to celebrate this milestone. We were both feeling a little strapped for cash at the time, and besides, I told myself, I wasn’t *really* done with the project yet because there will still be all this work to do. I still had this laundry list of activities to check off the project list:
- Scan or photograph the entire series
- Varnish all the paintings
- Make a new archive sheet for the series
- Pack and ship the sold ones to the buyers
- Upload the ones that *didn’t* sell to my website
- Add shop listings for all the new paintings
- Promote the paintings on my social media
- And..
- And…
- And….
This was not the first time during the course of the project I was having this type of conversation with myself. About 8 days away from the project deadline I had a little meltdown. I was lamenting to my boyfriend that I had only finished 70 of the 100 paintings. Even though I didn’t have buyers for all 100 works yet, I had set a self-imposed goal to complete all 100 paintings during the 30 days anyway. With 8 days to go, I was “behind” and worried I wasn’t going to pull it off. Kind of nuts to admit when I’m writing it now, but I was beating myself up for not having more done.
But Dude.
!!**I ended up with 95 new paintings**!!
45 of them were mini 4×4’’ acrylic paintings. 50 of them were 8×10’s. That’s a lot of paint and time AND results. And I reached my funding goal for the project too! All the supplies were covered, a bunch of my little paintings found new homes, and I ended up with a sizable inventory of medium-sized paintings left for my upcoming market season.
…But I was beating myself up for not having done more.
I’m going to rewind for a moment for some context. Way back in 2014/2015 I was an active listener of a podcast called “Artists Helping Artists,” which was, as the name may suggest, all about elevating the practice of other artists. It was hosted by Leslie Saeta. Saeta held a bi-annual artist challenge called “30 in 30.” It happened in January and September of the year. The goal of that project was to paint 30 paintings in 30 days. It was just to get artists producing and creating and exploring a topic they loved. I participated in this challenge, At the time the idea of finishing 30 paintings in 30 days was bonkers. The first time I tried I got about 12 days in before “life” got in the way and it petered out. And at the time, I beat myself up because I only finished 12. But would I have made 12 in the whole month if I didn’t have the challenge?
I did this challenge a couple of other times. My most successful was 2017 when I got through the entire 30 days AND continued right on to make a painting every day for the first 87 days of the new year before going “off track” again. And then I got down on myself because I didn’t get to 90. Or keep going. Again.
Here’s another example of a time when I forgot to celebrate success. I’m not sharing this to brag; I’m sharing to illustrate how my brain has tried to lie to me about an objective FACT. Recently, a fellow artist online was asking about pricing for her work, and when people thought it was appropriate to price a piece at over $1,000. I considered this question and chimed in about a time that I’d sold a $1000 painting. I explained my thought process and how I came to decide on the price for that piece and how I found my buyer, etc. Later, I was telling my boyfriend about this exchange. He said, “oh yeah you mean that one painting with all the little paintings around it you sold to *insert buyer name here*?”
My face went blank as I thought about this.
Then I realized I’ve sold more than one $1000 painting before.
I seriously, sincerely forgot that I had done that until he said something. I sold a painting for over $1000 MORE THAN ONCE!!
So I just completed a project where I made more paintings in one month than I ever have.
And I have on more than one occasion in my professional life sold a painting for over $1000, which was something I never thought was in my reach when I started out as an artist. When I worked for someone else it was easy to know when I was “on track” or not. I had daily check-ins, feedback from my peers and my boss, quarterly and annual reviews. But as my own boss, I have always struggled to check-in and fairly evaluate how I’m doing. And there have been a bunch of other times I’ve failed to give myself props for a job well done. I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this.
What are some wins that you’ve had in the past that maybe you forgot to celebrate?
Did you complete a school or certificate program? Did you make a piece that you were really proud of? Did you make a piece that tested your skills and caused you to learn and grow? Did you have a killer sale? Did you write your first blog post even though you were scared? Did you submit to a gallery show?
I invite you to set a timer for the next 10 minutes or so and brainstorm about all the little wins you may have had up till now, even if you didn’t think of them that way in the past. When you’re done take a look at your list and ask yourself – did I celebrate these wins? If you didn’t, I invite you further to take a few minutes to just go jump around and say “Yippee!!” and give yourself a gold star and tell yourself how proud you are that you did it Or go for that celebration drink (or fancy sparkly water) with a friend.
When we do self-directed work, we need to be our own boss. We need to be kind and give ourselves the feedback we need to keep going. And we need to celebrate our wins. Seriously, we deserve it.
Feel free to share some of your wins with me! Or just how you manage your own inner voice when it’s trying to tell you you’re not progressing how you’d like to be.
Thanks for reading, Seeya you next time. And remember…
Every day is an opportunity to make art.
